My Pet Power Rankings: Season Preview
Sporadically throughout the Pet Season, we’ll take a look at the pets in my house and see where they rank. Our system uses a highly efficient statistical model that took years to develop. It is in no way arbitrary. TO THE RANKINGS!
#4 - Lebowski
A surprisingly low showing from the heavy (and I do mean HEAVY) favorite. But last week’s hypoglycemic attack combined with an all-day visit to the vet really set him back. Look for him to bounce back with cuddles and purrs.
#3 - Lola
Mostly a good girl but her age is catching up to her. A noticeable limp from arthritis has this veteran runner not quite reaching her top speed. Also notable, her breath smells like fish. Something to keep an eye on as the season progresses.
#2 - Chloe
A crafty, silent hunter, this “Grey Ghost” as fans have taken to calling her, is renowned for fitting into tight spaces and scaring people with her ear-piercing screech. Being part-Owl, look for her to shine at night.
#1 - Plomp
A surprise ranking for sure. This scrappy underdog has generally been regarded as annoying and needy. But if there is one thing this gal has demonstrated during the off-season it is a renewed commitment to excellence. The rumors out of the gym are wild. Stay tuned!
It figures to be an exciting season full of catnip, insulin shots, and cuddles. We’ll check in periodically to see how our valiant competitors are doing.