Top Five Worst Sports Team Names

There have been hundreds of professional teams over the last century. Some have stood the test of time, others, well… they’ve come and gone or relocated to greener pastures. This isn’t about how good a team is or how many championships they’ve won. This is about their names. Let’s take a look at some of the weirdest and worst team names. (Note: I won’t be including any of the racially insensitive names on this list. It goes without saying that they are THE WORST).

Miami Heat

This one kicks off a theme that will come up again and again. Instead of having an actual thing (like Kings or Wildcats) this team instead opted to go with a concept. How does one say what team they play for? “I am a Heat?” “I am a Heater?” I get what they were going for but sometimes you can be a little too smart for your own good.

Cleveland Browns

That’s their logo. An orange helmet. That’s it. Do you know why they’re called the Browns? Because they’re named after Paul Brown, their first coach. Whose family owns the Cincinnati Bengals. It makes no sense.

Orlando Magic

Why does the NBA have so many bad team names? Who knows. I could have made this list entirely of NBA teams. Here we have another “concept”. MAGIC! Clearly they are trying to get a little bit of that Disney street cred. If they’re magicians then they’re GOB Bluth.

New England Revolution

Not Revolutionaries. Not Minute Men. Not Patriots. Again, a team eschews an actual physical thing and opts for the concept. What’s with that logo? It’s almost an American flag but not quite. What are they revolting against? Good taste and common sense?

Minnesota Wild

I live in Minnesota so this one hits close to home. Why they couldn’t just be the North Stars is beyond me. Instead, we get this.The other choices at the time: Blue Ox, Freeze, Northern Lights, Voyageurs, White Bears, and Wild. At least half of those are better. Two are arguably worse. I guess they split the difference.

BONUS: Utah Jazz

The Jazz isn’t a terrible name in itself. But UTAH??? The whitest of white places? The place where clapping on the 1 & 3 is considered on-rhythm? How did this happen and who is responsible for allowing it to continue?

So that’s it, I think. Did I miss any? Let me know on social media or in the comments.

These have been the TOP FIVE WORST TEAM NAMES. Accept no substitutes or alternates.