Twofer Monday: A Quick Note on Manly Men
Not Real but Also Real
I don’t usually like to write more than one post per day but I saw something so infuriating that I simply HAD to write about it. Known white supremacist and religious nut Josh Hawley gave a speech over the weekend at some gathering of the morons. Here’s what he had to say about the state of young white males in the country:
WOW SO MUCH HERE!
First of all, if men aren’t the problem, then by all means let me know who is beating, raping, harassing, and murdering all these women. I’ll wait. Because it sure as shit ain’t other women. Men are absolutely the problem! A third of women report being in an abusive or violent relationship. A THIRD! Seems like maybe there’s an issue with that. The most dangerous person in a woman’s life is the dude she shares a bed with. But nah, go on about how men aren’t the problem.
Second, just because your precious feels get hurt by having facts about partner violence and unwanted harassment shown to you doesn’t mean they aren’t true. If anything, a reluctance to accept that men have treated women like shit for centuries (and continue to do so) demonstrates the exact toxicity evolved people seek to remove from our society.
Third, not being able to get laid isn’t the fault of women or feminism, or society at large. It’s your own damn fault! Women are not mysterious or overly complex. They’re people, the same as anyone else living and breathing. Have you tried treating them like that instead of penis receptacles that owe you something? Maybe ask them some questions (and not creepy things like “can I see your bewbs?”). More like “where did you grow up?” “What do you want for your future?” or even something as simple as “how’s your day going”. Then, and THIS IS THE KEY PART SO PAY ATTENTION, listen to what they have to say, and be supportive! If they’re having a crappy day, say “oh that sucks, I’m sorry”. And stop touching them! They don’t like to be touched unless they want to be touched. You wouldn’t want me pawing you so don’t do it to them! Trust me, it’ll be obvious when they want your gross hands on them. And if you’re not sure, just keep your damn hands to yourself! No woman has ever been like “ugh, I don’t think I’ll see Greg again. He respected my space too much”.
Fourth, what the kid that Joshie-boy feels so bad for is describing is being in your 20s! Nobody has it figured out when you’re 22! The light doesn’t come on until you’re 30, at the earliest. That’s not feminism’s fault. And hey, if women are repulsed by you because of your “manhood” then maybe you’re a lecherous creep who should re-evaluate things. Real-life isn’t a porno. Women don’t sleep with you because you pull over your car and whistle at them.
Fifth, it’s not that society has changed so much and gotten all woke, and poor men are being left behind. It’s that women aren’t taking your shit anymore. 30 years ago, women didn’t really have much of a voice in anything. They didn’t run companies. They didn’t have a lot of wealth (due to them deliberately being paid less than men by men). Their reproductive freedoms were limited (and still are). If a woman wanted to advance in a field or business dominated by men, they either had to smile and accept your harassment or be labeled a humorless bitch. The world isn’t like that anymore***. They can sue your ass or cancel you now. It’s not unfair punishment. It’s called JUSTICE. And yes, I know we still have an incredibly long way to go towards equality.
Lastly, saying that men are retreating into a world of porn and videos, I think, says WAAAYYY more about Josh than it does anybody else. I play video games all the time. And I feel fine about my manhood. I was raised by a strong woman and had a lot of female friends. I wasn’t always the evolved person you see before you but I’m not so insecure that I can’t handle people questioning what I do. It’s OK to be like “huh, maybe women don’t like that” and STOP DOING IT.
As far as porn goes, more people are into it because a) there’s never been more access to porn in history than right now; and b) there’s porn for every kink and turn-on imaginable. If the interwebs had come out in 1977 do you really think the men of that era would have been like “oh, free porn? No thanks, I feel good about my manhood so I don’t need it.” LOL COME ON JOSH.
If you really want to do something positive for young men then you need to stop peddling this bullshit about how they aren’t responsible for the criticism they rightly deserve. Toxic masculinity is the problem, not the cure. Encouraging “boys to be boys” only perpetuates the cycle of violence and isolation. Boys aren’t born to act a certain way. They act how we teach them to act and how we model behavior.
Josh Hawley is peddling the usual “conservative” talking points about masculinity. It’s not the men that are the problem. It’s the… not-men? What’s the word. Oh right, women. The people with less power, wealth, representation, agency, and autonomy are definitely the problem. Not the people committing all the crimes. It’s the victims. Darn women, making men be assholes.
I’m not surprised an aspiring Nazi like Josh here would trot out these bad ideas. Hitler loved big manly men. He thought Aryans were the superior race. Yep, the people who can’t be in the sun for 30 mins without getting a sunburn are the best. Sounds legit. The bottom line is that toxic masculinity is bad. It’s bad for children, it’s bad for teenagers, it’s bad for adults. It’s especially bad for women. If men feel bad about how they are treated, perhaps they should meditate on how they treat others. It reminds me of a saying: if you find yourself running into assholes all day long, maybe you’re the problem.
*** this is a gross exaggeration and obviously not reality for most women