The Measure of a Man
This week, The House of Representatives is set to vote on the Equality Act, a bill that would ban discrimination against people based on sexual orientation and gender identity. It is an expansion of the historic 1964 Civil Rights Act. More than half a century later, Americans find themselves facing a choice: expand freedom and liberties owed to our fellow citizens or deny people their rights based on any number of flimsy excuses. You can imagine how support for this bill splits based on political party.
Democrats are overwhelmingly in favor of it. Even fake Democrats like Joe “not a fan of women and POC” Manchin and Kyrsten Sinema support it. There are even some Republicans who want to enact it! I know, I’m shocked that anyone in the GOP would turn down an opportunity to discriminate against people but hey — it’s the roaring 20’s again.
One Representative, Marie Newman of Illinois, gave an impassioned speech on the floor about why she supports the bill. Her daughter is trans and so this is deeply personal to her. Have a listen.
Beautiful. Parents of LGBTQ+ children take note: this is how you support your child. Accept them, continue to offer your love, and do everything you can to ensure society does the same.
And how did her literal neighbor across the hall respond to this outpouring of emotion and honesty? By acting like a vile moron.
Just incredible. I mean, I know it’s Marjorie Taylor Greene so the bar is already super low. That she could do this without her knuckles dragging along the floor is a miracle. And in fairness to MTG, Rep. Newman did “start” this fight by displaying a trans flag outside her office, you know, to show her support for her daughter and the rights of our fellow Americans to be their authentic selves. What a jerk, amirite?
I’m not sure there is a profanity worthy of Rep. Greene’s behavior, to be honest. Believe me, I’ve tried to think of it. From her bad faith arguments against the bill (more on those later) to her performative display, complete with an oh-so-very proud of herself facial expression, there isn’t a Hell hot enough for her to burn in. And this isn’t even considering that one of her close pals participated in the January 6th terrorist attack.
And how did Rep. Newman respond? With the grace and dignity you’d expect an evolved person to demonstrate:
While the benefits of the bill are obvious (more freedom, more liberty, more protections of those American ideals we hear so much about), the arguments against are not. Opponents see this as further gubmint tyranny, preventing them from using “religion” as an excuse to discriminate. This is not a new tactic for bigots. They tried the same thing when it came to women voting and the Civil Rights movement in the 60s. Too bad our pesky Constitution prohibits it. Shucks. Guess they’ll have to come up with a new reason to deny their fellow citizens the same rights and protections they enjoy. And sure enough, they have! Several actually. All of them are ludicrous and mostly boil down to people being butthurt about not being able to discriminate with impunity.
One argument goes that it inhibits and compels speech, a violation of our rights to freedom of expression. For example: say a student in a public school identifies as female. A teacher would be compelled to call her a “her” instead of a “him”, thus “violating” the teacher’s free speech. This isn’t a real argument because the teacher has to call them by whatever name their parents chose for them and can’t just call them whatever they feel like. So really, all it would do is infringe on a teacher’s right to be discriminatory, which… is a good thing.
Another bullshit reasoning against the bill is that it would impact social service agencies that don’t want to place orphans with gay or trans people. First, it’s sad that with tens of thousands of children lacking parents anyone would discriminate in such a manner. Two dads are better than none. Secondly, again, it’s just their desire to discriminate that’s being impacted. If they want to shut down a children’s charity because they don’t recognize a person’s right to identify how they choose, then that’s on them. Good luck explaining that reasoning to Jesus.
There’s a couple of old, fear-based ones that you’ve heard before. Male predators using this protection to sneak into women’s rooms to rape to their heart’s content. Utter nonsense, of course, since there haven’t been any examples of this in places that have degendered bathrooms. Rapists gonna rape, regardless. Another old chestnut is that a parent who refuses to recognize their kid’s identity would risk losing custody to a divorced spouse who does. Which, again, is maybe a good thing for a trans kid to not be in an environment like that?
The biggest one, and the newest, is that the Equality Act is really an assault on women! This idea is based on the protections that would be granted to trans athletes. As we all know, men and women generally play sports in different leagues. This is partially due to sexism but also due to the very real differences in their physical bodies that go beyond reproductive organs. We evolved differently, for different functions, and those differences are (in part) fueled by hormones. Science! Or is it…
Have you seen the US Women’s team compete in soccer? I honestly think they could kick the ever-loving shit out of any men’s team. I mean, look at this!
These badass chicks ran through Argentina (no slouch as a country when it comes to soccer) like a hot knife through butter. I can’t wait to see them in the Olympics and World Cup. But do they seem like they need a man to play better? To score more goals? Would Argentina have been better if Messi had donned a dress and makeup and joined them on the field? Probably. Messi is a god. But that’s not what we’re talking about. This isn’t Juwanna Mann.
Yikes. Talk about problematic. The 90s were a weird time, folks. (OK, technically 2002). This is the image people conjure up when the issue of trans people playing with their chosen gender (instead of their assigned one) comes up. They picture a man in drag having an unfair advantage competing against women. You’ll notice that no one seems to care about the inverse. Hmmm. I wonder why?
This, of course, is far from the reality when it comes to trans people competing in sports. Anytime there is a physical competition, there will be different advantages based on a person’s body. Is it a coincidence that so many basketball players are tall? No, of course not. But isn’t that inherent in the nature of the game itself? Short people can still ball. Google Muggsy Bouges. Tall people can suck. Google Shawn Bradley. A physical body always presents natural competitive advantages, regardless of gender.
One proposed solution to this problem is having separate leagues and competitions for trans people. Separate but equal… where have I heard that before? How’d that work out? Do you really think that high schools and colleges will fund and support these leagues at the same rate as their assigned gender sports? I tend to think not. History would not favor this solution.
We don’t penalize people for being too tall in basketball. We don’t penalize people for being too fast in track & field. Why should we discriminate against people because they may have some alleged biological advantage? I say allegedly because it isn’t a given that a man who transitions to a female will automatically beat everyone she faces in sports. Sure, some trans people have won. They’re the ones who get the attention. But there are a lot more who you never hear of.
The science behind gender is evolving. Conservatives would seek to marry gender and biological sex as a singular, unified concept: male or female, that’s it. But what do they base that on? Breasts and vaginas versus penis and testes? How you come out of your mother is how you should be. But that isn’t the whole story. Not by a long shot.
That brings me to the point of this post: what makes a man, a man? Since I was born a man and identify as one, I think I’ll just focus on that aspect of gender. But also keep in mind that gender is a fluid thing and not everyone feels compelled to choose one or the other. These people, our fellow Americans, deserve consideration and liberty as well.
Am I a man because I have a penis and testicles? Well, yeah, partially. But not completely. There’s also a chemical solution in my brain that tells me my body looks the way it should. OK, so that’s not entirely true. My body is a trainwreck and most of the time my brain can’t stand the sight of it. Between the lack of hair in places I wish I had it and the places where I have no use for hair, my body is very much at odds with how I picture my idealized self. But when it comes to gender, it mostly matches up. I say mostly because I do enjoy women’s clothing. Always have.
In 5th grade when I had to do a report on Cambodia, I dressed up as my cousin who was from there. I wore a dress and everything. And it’s far from the first time I’ve worn women’s clothing. Halloween has always presented itself as a good opportunity to play. Having grown up in a more traditional town (read: white suburbia) anyone who didn’t follow their assigned genders was treated harshly. I can still remember the boys from the hockey team beating the crap out of a kid who liked to wear dresses on occasion. Why was he such a threat?
But cross-dressing (is that even an OK word nowadays? I’m not sure) isn’t the same as being transgender. And this is where we get into the meat of the thing. Trans people literally feel like strangers in their own bodies. Every time they look into the mirror, they expect to see someone different staring back at them. I can only imagine what kind of torture that is. Empathy is the only thing these people should be receiving from us. Not hate and discrimination.
And science backs this up! Here’s a quick video that gets into the science of it a bit more:
I am a man not only because of my reproductive organs but because all my other organs agree with that concept! If my brain was different than it is now, I might not. So would yours. Why such emphasis on dicks and vaginas? Sure, it’s the most obvious difference between men and women but it’s not the totality of it. My brain is inarguably a far more important organ to have (I can live without my cock and balls but a life without my brain would be nonexistent). Shouldn’t what my brain says take precedent over what’s hanging between my legs? I think so.
As a country, we need to expand beyond the rigid concepts of gender that we’ve been programmed to believe. Yes, there is a biological component to gender. But as the video above demonstrates, there is A LOT that goes into biology beyond simple XY chromosomes. Our bodies are a complex series of chemical reactions that constantly changes. It’s time that society reflects this reality.
There was a time in our nation’s history where Black people were thought to be a less-evolved version of our species. They were considered to be closer to animals than humans. Was this true? Of course not. It was bigoted people using junk “science” to explain their fear and hatred and excuse generations of enslavement. The same is happening now with transgender people.
Look, I am not going to pretend for a second that I “get” the whole transgender thing. I cannot imagine what it would be like to wake up every day in a body that feels wrong or alien. I cannot imagine what years of hormone therapy would feel like, what it would do to my body, or what gender reassignment surgery would be like. It makes me uncomfortable to think about, to be totally honest. I like my penis right where it is, thank you very much. But my understanding is completely irrelevant to anyone outside of me.
There are millions of things I don’t understand. People who own guns and love to use them to kill beautiful animals like deer and wolves and bears, for instance. Seems crazy to me. Not once have I ever looked at a deer and been like “yeah, gotta kill that thing”. But some of my best friends own guns and love to hunt. My lack of understanding isn’t good enough to ban them from doing so.
The same standard should be applied to trans people. It doesn’t matter if you get it or not. Consider yourself lucky that your brain agrees with the body you grew into. Empathize with those who were not as fortunate. Do what you can to help them feel welcome in our shared society and listen to their stories. Our collective ignorance doesn’t excuse discrimination. Our fellow countrymen (and women) are demanding the same protections that we enjoy every day. To deny them would be un-American. Trans rights are human rights.
Facing down ignorance and embracing that which causes discomfort is the true measure of a man. As Dr. King said: The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy. The true neighbor will risk his position, his prestige, and even his life for the welfare of others.
I know where I stand. Do you?