Remember This? Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark

After a decade of planning, writing, rehearsals, and previews, Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark finally opened on Broadway on June 14th, 2011. It remains the most expensive production ever, costing more than $75 million to make. It also set the record for the most preview performances, 182 in all. It was a complex show that should have been a massive achievement. Julie Taymor, one of Broadway’s most successful directors, was heading an all-star cast that included Alan Cumming and Evan Rachel Wood. Spiderman was hugely popular after the run of Tobey Maguire-starring films throughout the 00s. The music and lyrics were written by Bono and The Edge from U2. How could it not be incredible?

Well…. see for yourself:

Yikes.

Now, I’ve never been a fan of musicals. I don’t really get them. Lots of singing and dancing and honestly I usually end up feeling bad for the performers. I mean, imagine being ANY of the Sinister Six in the clip above. Most of the costumes look like they came from a kid’s Halloween party. I mean, The Lizard is just one of those inflatable dinosaur costumes. And does Green Goblin imply that Kraven the Hunter is into Beastiality?

The production was a mess. Several injuries to cast and crew caused the state of New York to investigate safety protocols and the show was fined by OSHA. The play at one point was closed so it could be rewritten and rearranged. The critics HATED it and panned it in multiple reviews. To give you an idea of how bad it was, the only person who seemed to like it (and went to several performances) was Glenn Beck. Yeah, THAT Glenn Beck.

It was an ambitious project, to say the least. Early drafts of the story promised high-flying stunts with performers soaring over the audience. It would be a spectacle like Broadway had never seen before. But as preproduction rolled on, it became clear that many of the stunts would have to be scaled back. Instead of feeling like you were in the middle of a superhero fight, the audience instead felt more like….

I’m kidding, of course. That isn’t the actual musical. THIS is what the musical looked like:

So… kind of cool?

The show eventually closed on January 4, 2014, at a massive financial loss for all those involved. While the production did initially sell lots of tickets, once the cringe factor wore off, sales plummeted. It was also really expensive to put on every night. To make their money back, the producers would have to rely on sold out shows, every performance, for about six years. It did not last that long.

Conan O’Brien had a few ideas on how to trim cost by focusing on attracting young children:

Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark is a lesson in hubris, ambition, and what can happen when good ideas meet up with reality. Most people have forgotten about it. I’m sure Marvel wishes everyone would. But thankfully the internet has preserved some of this incredible show.

What do you think about it? Was it a worthy attempt or foolishness? Let me know in the comments or on social media.