Taylor Swift: Queen of the Karens
Well, it’s been a few months since rich, privileged, white lady Taylor Swift has been able to make herself the victim in a mostly imagined grievance. That means it’s time for her to make something out of nothing! Let’s see what horrors Tay-Tay is being subjected to this month:
Wow, guys, I don’t know how she’s gonna survive this one.
Making a joke about how someone has dated a lot of people is not slut-shaming. It isn’t a comment on her work ethic or accomplishments. It’s one aspect of her brand that she herself has worked to incorporate. Similar to how de-platforming Nazis and terrorists isn’t “cancel culture”, this is the latest example of how white people need to find some grievance to cry about so they don’t feel left out. Whites have been ripping off Black culture forever. Just like how Count Basie and Miles Davis were turned into Kenny G, white folks have turned genuine systemic racism into a watered-down complaint about nothing.
Taylor Swift has publicly dated a number of famous, high-profile men. She, herself, is a famous, high-profile woman. She’s made her relationships a central focus (if not THE central focus) of her music. She has carried on in interviews about it. Don’t believe the hype about how her life has been invaded. Celebrities have a choice when it comes to privacy. If they want privacy (and not fame) they definitely don’t film multiple documentaries, appear in dozens of commercials, and tip off the paparazzi to their every move. She chooses to play the game. Which is fine! She has agency and this is how she chooses to use it.
But to take the very real issue of slut-shaming, which has a lot more to do with women being sexually liberated and criticized for it, and twist it for faux sympathy is a bad look for T-Swifty. Granted, it has worked many times throughout her career. You all remember when that big, mean Black man interrupted her speech on MTV, right? She got YEARS out of that non-traumatic scandal. Did it suck that Kanye ruined her moment? Duh. But let’s not treat her like she’s a 9/11 widow. It was funny and wild and frankly the earliest sign that Kanye was about to completely lose his mind.
In his defense, “Single Ladies” is a MUCH better song and video than “You Belong with Me”. It’s not even close. “Single Ladies” gave us an iconic dance, hilarious parodies, and memes-galore. “YBwM” is a forgettable pop song about: you guessed it! Her love life!
Goddamned! 12 years later this video is still incredible. And to be clear, giving awards for art is about the dumbest thing ever. The only thing dumber is taking it seriously. You all know those things are bought and paid for, right? I’m not sure why we do it (cough cough money cough) but nonetheless, if having your little acceptance speech interrupted is enough to cause “trauma”, then you might be a Karen. Look at Taylor’s face while Kanye speaks and especially after he gives her back the microphone. LOL. WILL SOMEONE PLEASE GET THE MANAGER?
The clip above is from her aforementioned documentary on Netflix so bias-beware. They left out the parts where Kanye apologized to her on multiple occasions. They also failed to correct Dr. Phil when he said she was 17. She wasn’t. She was 20. A legal adult who’d been in show business for years. By the way, if you find yourself needing to be defended by a misinformed Dr. Phil, you might not be on the right side of the argument. Twelve years later, she’s STILL making it part of her “narrative” and brand, which is WHITE LADY VICTIMHOOD.
Let us not forget that she herself has poked fun at the idea of her dating “too much”. It’s popped up in multiple song lyrics, both satirically and earnestly. SHE is the one who made her dating history an issue. I’m not really sure why anyone cares to be honest. She’s rich and famous. I hope she’s getting as much ass as she wants/can. But in the TV show she’s taking issue with, no one is calling her a slut. No one is saying she slept with these men. No one is even criticizing her, really. Only stating the same “fact” (?) that Taylor has pointed to.
Why take issue with this show? Well, for starters, Taylor has a deal with Netflix. Is it really crazy that in an effort to boost the viewership of a less-popular show there might be an effort to draw attention to it? I bet you anything that its views have gone up since she cried about it. Secondly, I think it’s because her previous attempt at victimhood didn’t work out as well as she’d hoped. Did I mention that’s tied into this too?
Without getting too much into the weeds (and there are more weeds in music publishing than all of the Everglades) her previous issue was with a man named Scooter Braun. Which, again, if you find yourself locking horns with an adult who goes by Scooter, it might be time to evaluate things. This all happened about a year and a half ago. Her record label was sold to a company owned by someone she did not like (Scooter). As part of that deal, her master recordings (along with every other artist on the label) now belong to that company. This is very standard for the music industry.
The only thing of value a record label has is the recordings of its artists. I mean, what else would you buy from them? They generally do not own the songs, only the recordings. The literal recordings. So if a TV show wants to use her original recording of “You Belong with Me” over their credits, they would have to pay and get permission from the record label. Not Taylor Swift. Again, this is pretty typical. Only very, very famous artists who hold lots of negotiating power get the right to take their masters with them when they leave a label. And wouldn’t you know it, as part of the deal she signed with UMG when she left her old label, she got exactly that! Pretty good for a powerless victim.
As part of her tantrum for not being given the chance to buy her masters (she was, she chose not to agree to terms with the label, terms that were entirely reasonable) she announced that she would RE-RECORD HER ENTIRE CATALOG just to screw them over. She’s totally entitled to do this. It’s actually an interesting strategy, one that I haven’t really heard of before. Will people go for it? Maybe. But the point in all of this is that she isn’t a victim! She had agency in all of this. She had expensive lawyers and managers to help her navigate this. No one stole anything from her. She made A LOT of money from those recordings. But to hear her talk about you’d think they kidnapped her children.
This video is absurd and looks like a trailer for a bad video game. If anyone here is a thief, it is Taylor. A manufactured grievance isn't the only thing she bites from Black culture (not that Black folks grievances are manufactured, they’re not). Listen to this song above. What accent is that she’s using? Afro-Caribbean? Yikes. She’s lucky so many of her fans are white or maybe someone would have noticed this. But they didn’t because just like the minstrel shows of a hundred years ago it allows her white fans to have a “safe” experience with Black music and culture. From the graffiti on the walls to the weird neo-Asian tropes throughout, I’m not sure who to feel worse for. I get legit douche chills watching her ape Black culture like this. I’ll give her a pass on the Asian stuff since the video was directed by Joseph Kahn, a Korean fellow. But really, shame on him too for holding open the door for this nonsense.
This isn’t the only example of her “borrowing” from other cultures to make a handsome profit. Let’s not forget that she started as a good ol’ country gal. Yeehaw! But slowly, in order to attract a wider audience and make more money, she turned towards pop music that was influenced by hip-hop and electronica. That’s not really a problem. Music belongs to anyone as long as you aren’t bastardizing it. A subjective standard, I agree. But her sound wasn’t the only thing that changed. Her look did too. And by the time the album Reputation came out, she’s was almost doing Blackface routines. I mean, look at this video from the lead single:
This all happened after another public feud with Kanye West, this one involving his soon-to-be ex-wife Kim Kardashian. I won’t get into it here but if you want to read about it: here ya go. I am convinced that this video and a lot of the motivation behind the album was an eff you to them. She wanted to show she could do his kind of music (rap, etc.). In the video above, she has a bunch of Black and Brown dancers literally branded with “I heart TS” shirts. Talk about “master-slave” tropes. In different scenes, it looks like she has a bunch of house slaves doting on her as she struts around a mansion. Her fashion choices and set dressings are rip-offs as well. She closes the video by copping to the reality that all of her “personalities” or “characters” over time are nothing more than that: fictional representations of her designed to increase her influence and wealth. She even notes that she is known for playing the victim. It’s all part of her empty-calorie attempts to stay relevant.
Now, if you want to see an example of Black excellence and how it’s done, check out what Beyonce has been up to since those VMAs.
You’ll notice that Bey doesn’t use her dancers of color as accessories. She’s holding hands with them. They aren’t props. They’re part of the message. After watching this, the Taylor Swift edition of hip-hop-pop seems like a McDonald’s burger compared to a filet mignon. As an aside, my favorite part of this video is the look Jay-Z has the whole time. Just priceless.
Did I mention that it just so happens that one of her re-recorded albums drops soon and she just happened to release the first single right as all this Netflix drama was unfolding? CRAZY good timing if you ask me.
Speaking of what Taylor is up to recently, she’s going in a different direction now. Up until her most recent trio of albums, Reputation was her worst-selling album. She’s now embraced the Bon Iver musical movement, somewhere between indie-folk and electronica. She’s back to being the innocent white girl. And despite the fact that she’s a grown-ass woman who’s 31 years old, she’s fully embracing the naive little girl routine in how she sells herself.
She hides behind a veneer of innocent whiteness, a girl (never a woman) who just likes stuff LOLZ. It’s never intentional. It just so happens that she thinks playing dress-up in another person’s culture is fun. Pretending to be a B-Boy? Better get a boombox and some Black human props. Oh and don’t forget the nameless, literally faceless Black women who are required to twerk to her “sick beat”. Want to see what Blackface looks like in the 21st century?
Yikes. She’s literally crawling beneath women of color, amazed at their bodies. She might as well touch their hair without permission and ask them what part of Africa they’re from. And if you’re thinking “Matt, this is just ridiculous. You’re taking the racial stuff too far. She’s just having fun.” Then you’re almost certainly a white person. You’re used to seeing sanitized versions of Black culture. This all looks normal to you.
Taylor Swift loves to be the victim. It speaks to her aggrieved audience of white women. The same girls who grew up listening to “Love Story”, which itself is a bastardization of Romeo and Juliet, are the women who are now demanding to speak to managers and calling the police on birdwatchers. And speaking of “Love Story,” y’all do you know that R&J isn’t a love story. It’s about teenage suicide. They die in the end. Stop romanticizing it. But hey, once Taylor got away with rewriting classic English literature to fit her needs, why stop there?
I’m not sure who told her she could dance but please lock them up. This is what happens when an artist gets so wealthy, powerful, and popular that no one tells them they have limitations. Combine that with her sense of entitlement from being an “innocent white girl” and boy have you got a powerful combo. And what are her fans’ reactions to this? They eat it up. Of course, they do. They’re just like her. They’re the kids who get caught on TikTok singing the n-word along with rap songs and wearing Pocohantas costumes on Halloween. They support her breathlessly and hold a candle for the Queen of Karens. Long live the Queen of co-opting culture!
Now, will someone please get my manager on the phone? The Swifties want me fired.