Why Do You Care?
Earlier this week, the Trans Day of Visibility was celebrated. I didn’t really know about it until Joe Biden announced it on Wednesday. The day was established as a reaction to another Transgender-centric day of observation called the Transgender Day of Remembrance. That day was established in 1999 to honor the memory of trans people who had been killed in hate crimes. The purpose behind the Day of Visibility was to give the trans folks who were still living an opportunity to be seen. Many people across social media celebrated it by posting images and messages of support. Others took it upon themselves to use it as a day of hate.
Having lost the battle against The Gays, “conservatives” (which is code for white supremacists now) turned their hate towards another vulnerable group of people within our society: transgender people. Perhaps they thought that because trans people only make up about .6% of the US population (compared to gay people who represent about 5%), they’d have a better chance of inflicting hate upon them. After all, gay people are relatively common whereas trans people have been portrayed as freaks and weirdos in most media (not that this wasn’t how gays were portrayed for ages, they were). Buffalo Bill from The Silence of the Lambs is what a lot of people conjure when they think of trans people. It wasn’t until very recently that transgender people saw any realistic or sympathetic representation.
And just like they did with gay rights, conservatives are doing end-run around the rights of these individuals. See, the lessons they learned from the civil rights movements of the 50s and 60s weren’t to be inclusive and affirming. No. Instead, what they took away from it was that you cannot speak directly about the thing you hate. Want to get rid of fish? Ban the water. Whatever happens to the fish, happens. THIS ISN’T ABOUT FISH RIGHTS, IT’S ABOUT WATER.
Their tactics with trans people are a little more direct because they are more marginalized but still not an assault on their existence. They want the message to be loud and clear: you are not welcome. There’s been a lot of hoopla about trans women competing in sports. Weirdly enough, there’s not been a peep about trans men competing in men’s sports. It’s a lovely mixture of hate and misogyny.
In some ways, it is fitting that on a Day of Visibility for Transgender people that bigots would emerge to spread their bile. If the purpose of the day is to recognize and celebrate trans people, then having glaring examples of the transphobia and hate they face on a daily basis finally get some acknowledgment from mainstream media, makes sense. Of course, I am not advocating for such hate or saying it’s OK. But I would imagine that a big part of being a trans person in America today is also dealing with ridicule and scorn year-round.
To the people who feel it necessary to comment on social media and take shots at trans people and their struggle, I guess I have one question for you: why do you care? I mean, no one is saying you have to cut your penis off. Are you worried that you’ll accidentally get turned on by a trans person and have your life turned upsidedown? Does their bravery and courage to live an honest life scare you because you know you could never be so bold? Why do you hate something you have no experience with?
And don’t give me some BS about girl’s sports. If they really cared about that they would fund them equally and give them the attention they deserve. It’s pretty transparent that women’s athletics are being used as a tool to promote exclusionary policies. Funny how it worked that y’all were silent on women’s sports until trans people starting competing in them. Wonder why that is. But again, why do you care? I couldn’t care less how a person chooses to identify. Man, woman, non-binary, whatever… what difference does it make to me? I’ll call you whatever you want.
This isn’t a new thing. Trans folks have been with us forever. Native Americans have had what is called Two-Spirit for centuries.
Who says there are only two genders? Sure, it’s been the “norm” in our lifetime but it hasn’t been the only societal signifier of gender. Cultures have had alternates to our binary system for ages. Sumerians from 4500 years ago had them. Just because a person is ignorant of this fact doesn’t make it any less true. And yet, they would seek to force everyone to conform to their narrow definition of what a person can be.
People like bigot Piers Morgan take gender identification to the extreme in a futile attempt to “prove” that it doesn’t make sense. He lives in a world where the binary definition of gender is the only acceptable one. But who made him, or anyone for that matter, the arbiter of such things? Of course, he is entitled to his opinion but we are also entitled to hold the opinion that he’s a bigot who makes bad faith arguments, like this one:
First, note how he compares being transgender to being trans-species, a clear indication that he feels trans people are basically animals. I don’t think anyone is seriously advocating for trans-species recognition. This is the same BS argument people made about gay rights sliding into people being allowed to marry their dogs and legalize bestiality. Second, if Piers only ate raw fish, spoke in a series of clicks and chirps, and felt compelled to lay eggs, then maybe he would have a case. But he doesn’t, clearly. No one can get that fat off raw mackerel alone. We’d also be much better off if the only sounds coming from him were imperceptible bird noises.
Being trans isn’t about throwing on a dress and proclaiming that you’re a woman when it is convenient to do so. It’s a lifelong process that involves many stages of acceptance and to mock the people brave enough to go through it is disgraceful. This isn’t Michael Scott declaring bankruptcy.
Freedom is not defined by what is widely accepted. That bit is easy. Rather, freedom should enable people to live life as a minority with the same rights as anyone else. Who gave cis-gendered people the right to be who they are? The same right of existence for cis people to be cis is the same right for trans people to be trans. In a country that stands for freedom and the pursuit of happiness, to deny people the right to identify how they feel would be anathema to that most-American of principles, for both cis and transgendered people.
I’m a cis-male so I am far from an expert on this stuff. And that’s OK! You don’t have to be a scholar in gender studies to understand any of this. All that is required of you is to mind your own goddamned business and just call people what they want to be called. That’s it. If someone says “hey, I’m a she/her” then dammit just call them a she/her. I promise you will lose nothing. You might even gain a friend!
Yes, the world seems to change every day. It can be scary and unsettling to have your worldview challenged. Even someone who writes about “woke” stuff like myself is often confused and doesn’t understand the correct protocols. Again, it’s OK! If someone corrects you, all you have to do is be humble and say “oh, sorry, didn’t know that”. Trying to force someone to conform to your preferences (and that’s all they are: preferences) is a losing, hateful battle. They will still be who they are long after you’re blue in the face.
In the end, I think you’ll find that recognizing people for who they want to be is a much better use of our time. We have so much to overcome as a society and species. Fighting over nebulous things like gender identification will ONLY lead to division and hate. There is no “happy” outcome to it. So stop the hate. You don’t have to understand what trans people go through to not be an asshole. You just have to not be an asshole.
It really is that simple.