Top Five Sexy-Time Xmas Songs

Santa Claus. A wholesome figure for children around the world to send Christmas wishes to. But what about mom and dad? Don’t they deserve a little sum-sum? They do. Here are the Top Five Sexy-Time Xmas (or should I say XXXmas) Songs.

Albert King - Santa Claus Wants Some Lovin’

A great mix of blues and the holiday spirit. The song speaks to a husband’s concern that his wife will be asleep before he’s done with Christmas preparations. And that simply will not do.

Clarence Carter - Back Door Santa

This backdoor man, code for a guy who sleeps with other people’s women, isn’t like Santa Claus who “don’t come but once a year”. He just wants to make girls happy. Who can blame him? Christmas is the time for giving and generosity. He even keeps change in his pockets to give to the children so he can get a little alone time with mom. Yikes.

Eartha Kitt - Santa Baby

Really the gold standard in sexy Christmas songs. Eartha Kitt purrs her wishes for Santa and if he had any sense he would make sure to keep her happy. Does he? Well… did you know there was a sequel to this song? Yep!

Crazy stuff. Women, am I right fellas? Can’t make ‘em happy.

I'll Be Your Santa Baby - Rufus Thomas

Oooo baby, now that’s funky. Rufus is gonna slide into your chimney ladies and bring you lots of joy. Anyone else feeling a little hot? It’s hot in here right? What’s the thermostat set at?

Donny Hathaway - This Christmas

Didn’t realize this one was about getting it on, did you? It’s subtle but yeah. Donny wants to be caroling through the night. Not sure there’ll be much singing though.

BONUS: Lady Gaga - Christmas Tree

There’s nothing subtle about this one. Gaga is pretty clear that her “Christmas Tree is delicious” which refers to…. what exactly? The video offers no help and I’m not even sure it’s the right one. Enjoy!

These have been the TOP FIVE SEXY-TIME XMAS SONGS. Accept no substitutes or alternates.

Matt Barnsley