Abolish the Police*

*and replace them with something better suited for 21st century problems.

Sorry about the asterisk. A friend of mine took issue with simply saying the phrase “Abolish Police” and not following up on it with the whole idea. I feel like it’s a bit catchier to just say “abolish police” and assume people understand we aren’t advocating anarchy but I guess I see his point. I honestly never thought that there were people out there who heard us say “abolish the police” and thought that was the whole thing. Step one: get rid of cops. Step two: enjoy paradise. No. That’s not remotely what we mean. Well, most of us. There are some anarchists out there. They’re a wily bunch. I mean, they aren’t the Klan or Alt-Right. But there are a few “radical leftists” out there. I doubt there are any wearing badges but we can’t all be white supremacists, right? I’m sure they’d be happy with roving gangs of violence. Or whatever the goal is of chaos. An un-goal?

No, no, no. That’s not all of it. To be clear, we do mean step one: get rid of the cops. But that’s not the whole of it. Get rid of the prisons too. Oh yeah. All those “bad” people you locked up like animals don’t have to stay like that. We’re going to do something different. Is there going to be turmoil? Oh yeah. You bet there will be. Difference is that White America, the privileged ones who have been able to avoid getting dirt on their pants by walking over others, are finally going to feel a few splashes. Why? Because you don’t get to stay clean by burying others. America belongs to ALL of us. We have just as much a right to dictate what happens to us as anyone.

Listen, the point of this isn’t to punish white people. I’m a white people! I don’t want to be punished. But sometimes, to some people of privilege, equality can feel like oppression. Imagine having front row seats to every game of your local baseball team. You always get to sit right near the action. And the reason you get to sit there is because your dad sat there. And his dad sat there. You or your family have always sat there since the beginning of baseball. Good for you! Live sports are fun and I miss them. Thing is, back when they were giving out the seats, the only people allowed there were white men. And since it’s a limited market, meaning there are only a certain number of tickets available, whoever has the initial opportunity to get in has a massive advantage. The baseball team recognizes this historical disparity, and since they believe that everyone should have an equal opportunity to come to the park, they decide to end the cycle of tickets being handed down and will open it up to a random drawing every year. Everyone gets one ticket (no cheating!) and that’s it. Well, goodness can you imagine how you’d feel? You’ve been sitting there for generations! How dare they come along and take this away from you! You helped build the damn park by always supporting the team! And now because of some bullshit that happened a century before you were born, you have to go into a random drawing for worse seats? Fuck that! White rage! Grrrrr!!

There you have it. That is the difference in perspective white people have to address and understand. You aren’t being punished because the rain will finally fall upon your shoulders. Other people are being relieved of having to hold the umbrella. We need to celebrate that. And maybe, together, we can do something about keeping everyone dry.

Where were we? Right. Abolish Police. Yeah, just get rid of them. All of them. The “good ones” can reapply for the new positions when we decide what they will be. And what will it be? There are some ideas out there. Here’s one for the fancypants nerds out there from Haaaaarvard. And for the crowd who unapologetically licks cheese flavoring off their fingers (which I do myself so don’t @ me), something from Rolling Stone. There are lots of other ideas out there. Do what I did and google it. Not as scary as it seems, is it?

They don’t all agree on everything, no true democracy should ever be everyone agreeing, but they do see eye-to-eye on one thing: if we started up our society now, we wouldn’t have police. Not in their current form anyways. The seeds of policing were planted in racism and the fruit born today bears its stain. By any and every metric, blacks (particularly black men) are policed at a higher rate, more violently, with less accountability than any other group. The least? White women. No wonder why their first instinct is to call the 5-0. This has been covered by the press ad nauseam. If your starting point in this debate is that the police respond to everyone equally, you have a lot of reading to do.

OK, smart guy Matt. You’ve talked a lot of shit. Time to back it up. What would a modern police department look like?

Well, for starters, it would depend upon the community that was being policed. There are some basic underlying things that would be commonplace, but ultimately it would be best if communities decided for themselves how to manage crime. Centralizing power leads to corruption and a loss of oversight, so I imagine the forces would be smaller. Instead of citywide, think more along the lines of neighborhoods or blocks. Again, this might not work in Wyoming so it’s important for places to feel comfortable with how they are policed. It should be comprised of people from the community. Not random people from 45 minutes away. If you’re too good to live in an area then you’re too good to be paid to patrol it. Military-grade equipment would be banned. Hell, even some of the commercially available stuff would be banned. Officers would be focused on de-escalation technique training. There would be regular psychological evaluations and care. And they would only be called to scenes as a last resort.

Criminal justice is another area in desperate need of reform but I don’t want to get into that here. It’s an important part of abolishing police, however, because it would be tasked with reform, education, and training. In essence, making less criminals along the way. Yes, there will still be monsters too fucked up to be dealt with. Fine. We’ll keep them locked up. But you cannot tell me that our fellow countrymen are soooo dangerous that we need to be the most jailing motherfuckers on the planet? Education is a huge part of this as well, another thing I’m sure I’ll get into down the line. Basically, if we just took care of each other and didn’t have massive corporations sucking all the wealth out of our communities, we wouldn’t need so many police. But let’s just focus on the police aspect.

OK, so they’d be community-based residents, trained to de-escalate situations, that get regular counseling and checkups. I’d also say that using lethal force should be very much discouraged. I mean, you’d have to really, really prove some shit was about to go down to get away with it. You know how 99% of killer cops get away with it? We need to flip that so it’s much harder to do. Yes, I want cops questioning if they should kill us. Uhhhh, don’t you? They should at least have to obey the same standard as us, if not higher. I say higher.

Also, we need to get real about how policing (whispers) really isn’t that dangerous. Oh, a mortal sin, I know. Questioning an established fact like that. But it’s true. There are other jobs far riskier. Can it be dangerous? Absolutely. Is there a chance you might get shot and killed? Yeah. But it’s very low (see link in the above paragraph). Stop being cowards. That’s part of the problem. Too many coward cops. It can be a messy job. Scary things might happen. If you have a hair-trigger then please don’t apply. If you frighten easily, maybe this isn’t for you. Hotheads and roided-up maniacs need not apply.

We’ve tried this version of policing for a century, give or take. And it’s not working for everyone. Oh, it’s fine for whitey, but for everyone else… We want something that is equitable for everyone. We want to be policed by the people we share a common bond with. People who think compassionately. We want to be patroled by people whose first instinct is “how can I help this person” and not “the fuck is this asswipe doing?”

But Maaaattttttt. What are you going to do with the really violent ones? The ones that can’t be saved? The ones who will stick a knife in your neck just as sure as the sun would rise? What can you do with them?

I don’t know. I would leave that to people much smarter than I am. People who have studied criminality and psychology. Will there be bumps along the way? Fuck yeah, there will. But we won’t be married to a tradition that seems irreplaceable or unchangeable. We can learn from our mistakes and do better. Right now, the system we have results in the murder of innocent people every day. I would rather try for something new, something different, than continue to make the same mistakes, compounding them every day with newer weapons of destruction and surveillance technologies.

White people, my alabaster brothers and sisters, do not be afraid of change. These people are our countrymen and women. They are as much a part of this nation as we are. Cherish the untold sacrifice they have made, for us, and return the favor by bearing a bit of hardship so they may truly experience even one day as free people. We do not have to live like this. Hope is good. Change is better. Like my dude never said: be the change you wish to see in the world.