Old Man Yells At Cloud

I saw a news article today that sent me over the edge. It’s so stupid to get worked up over it. I admit all this upfront. If you’re looking for a deep-thinking post today — this ain’t it. This is mostly going to be me bitching about the YOUTHS. Specifically, Gen Z. Here’s the headline:

At first, I was like “oh that’s dumb.” But then it occurred to me that maybe they were doing it for superior sound quality. Wireless transmission has some limitations when it comes to audio quality. Not anything the average person might notice but if you’re an audiophile it might enhance the sound to use wired headphones. I figured I’d give it a chance, keep an open mind, etc. Boy was that dumb. From the article:

WIRED IS AN ATTITUDE???? What does that even mean!?! This generation might be the most superficial and clueless we have every produced. And OK, this is one article, written by one person who might own stock in a headphone wire company. But there is something here. The people posting about this have thousands of followers and their videos get millions of views.

In one of the posts, they declare that wired headphones are now “officially vintage” which is insane. AirPods came out 5 years ago. FIVE YEARS! That’s not old enough to be vintage! That’s barely enough time to get a third generation of the product! Ridiculous.

It gets worse!

So Catherine, let me ask you a question. Did you get an iPhone? Yeah, they’re great, I know. But let me get this straight: buying the $1000 phone isn’t selling out but dropping $150 on headphones is? JFC. YOU GO TO BERKELEY! These kids’ minds are so demented by the internet and social media I am legit worried about our future. And what’s wrong with Patagonia? I agree lots of douchebags wear it, but the company seems solid. Good to know that things being “functional and practical” are now uncool.

IT GETS WORSE!

Guys, I can’t. I can’t do it. My brain is collapsing into itself. Send an ambulance. My eyes are bleeding. Help.

That paragraph really is a great explainer of how a lot of this generation behaves. “Please don’t speak to me, I’m too busy.” LOL, YOU’RE ON A BUS. YOU’RE NOT BUSY, YOU’RE JUST SELFISH AND SELF-ABSORBED. These kids have gotten so used to communicating online that they have almost no IRL (in real life for the olds) social skills. I’m not using hyperbole here. Have you tried talking to one of these mooks? GOOD LUCK.

Have a look at the feed of one of the people the author of this post references. It’s insanity. Whatever drugs we’re giving to these kids we have to stop. And if it’s a lack of drugs maybe we need to give them some. Have they tried weed? It helped me get through high school. Kids, try some weed! Put your phones down and smoke some from a bowl made out of a soda can.

Well, sheeeeet if a 14-year-old from [checks it five times because it cannot possibly be true] WESTERN MASS says it then by George it must be true. WESTERN MASS, after all, is known for being a cultural and fashion hub. What with all the fashion institutes and whatnot.

Listen, I know this is all a bunch of clickbait BS. And I’m sure we can get a #NotAllGenZ hashtag trending. But this article really underlines and bolds how vapid and inane this generation of kids is. And it’s all our fault. We did this to them. We opened Pandora’s Box and out came the internet. It was fun! We could IM each other and passive-aggressively update our AIM profiles. Plus, all the free music (thanks, Napster). We knew the internet was fake. We didn’t trust it. It was new and nutty so we knew better. But these kids grew up with it. It’s been the biggest part of their lives. It consumes them. It’s very real. And I don’t know how to fix this.

Looks like I’m stuck yelling at clouds.