Problematic Christmas Songs

Christmas songs… who doesn’t love them? Grinches, that’s who! It’s so weird that we have a time of year (which seems to creep sooner and sooner every season) where we listen to one type of music. Ever listen to a holiday song in July? It seems insane. But on December 12th it’s perfect. You’ve probably been listening to the same songs year after year that you know all the words by heart. It’s easy to mindlessly sing along with them. But there are a few songs that I’ve heard on the radio this season that make me feel… a little uncomfortable. Some are downright awful. So let’s dig into some:

Wow. Wow wow wow. It’s like blackface but for music. The broken English. The stereotypes. It’s got everything. I made sure to include a version that had the lyrics so you can just how racist this song is. It was written by Lawton Williams and performed by Jim Reeves, who is decidedly NOT Hispanic, which you probably could have guessed. Here’s what “Gentleman Jim” looks like:

Uh… yeah. You might be wondering why he’d do a Christmas song from the perspective of a Mexican man? Well, that’s just him capitalizing on his earlier success. Jim Reeves's first big hit was a tune called "Mexican Joe" and it’s exactly what you think it is. There was an era of early American rock ‘n roll that featured a lot of these kinds of songs. “Ahab the Arab” comes to mind. When people talk about baked-in, systemic racism, this is the kind of stuff we’re talking about.

Onward and downward!

Sticking with the “racist towards Mexicans” theme, Glenn Miller isn’t to be outdone. In what is an otherwise lovely rendition of “Jingle Bells” there’s a middle section that completely goes off the rails. It starts at the 2:00 minute mark. Here are the lyrics in case it’s hard to hear it:

Down in Mexico
We have got no snow
You have got no snow?
Down in Mexico!
Sit around all-day
Hear the music play
Every time we sing
Tequila glasses ring
Jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle

Fun! Nothing better than celebrating the positivity and hope of yuletide greetings than with some stereotypes about how Mexicans are lazy alcoholics. Yikes.

Moving on. This is honestly one of my favorite Christmas songs of all time. It’s funny, it’s catchy, and at least it’s being sung by an Italian. Well, an Italian-American, which is the worst flavor of Italian in the world. If you know me, then you know I’ve always been a little prejudiced against Italians. I generally mean it in jest, since my best friend growing up was first-generation Italian, but anything that shows what a bunch of goombas Italian-Americans are, I’m all for it. Is it a little racist? Sure. Do I care? Nope!

This one is problematic for me personally. As a kid, I took the song literally and didn’t realize that the mom was actually kissing the father. It always bothered me that the mom would wait until Christmas of all days to cheat on the dad. And Santa… how could you? What about Mrs. Claus? Think of the reindeer! The version that really upsets me the most is the Jackson Five version. There’s a breakdown in the middle where a young Michael says he’s going to tell his dad about the smooch. Uh-oh.

Quick detour: in 1992, a miniseries about the Jacksons was released called, The Jacksons: An American Dream. It followed the family from it’s coming together to their rise to fame. One of the most disturbing aspects of it was how much Poppa Jackson beat his family. The kids. The wife. All of ‘em got whippins! And so when I hear about Michael telling his dad about Katherine Jackson kissing Santa, all I could feel was fear and dread as to what Joseph would do to her.

So that’s why I hate that song. Maybe not “problematic” in the sense we use it these days, but definitely problematic for me. PSA: don’t beat your family.

Next up we find the answer to the question of what happens when a bunch of well-intentioned white artists gets together to make a song in an effort to raise awareness about African suffering? This:

Yikes. So many things to talk about. This song was written in 1984 by Bob Geldof and Midge Ure, two very white guys. They were trying to bring attention to the famine in Ethiopia. What better way than to have a ton of stars sing a song and give the proceeds to charity? Well… some of the lyrics are a little condescending, to put it mildly. And this whole thing smacks of white saviorhood, basically that people of color in other parts of the world (and America) can only be helped through the graciousness of white civilization. Countries are perfectly capable of helping themselves. But centuries of colonialism and genocide have left a wide array of scars and structural issues. In other words, if white people would stop ruining other people’s lands and cultures, they wouldn’t have the apparent need for help in the first place. And while I get what the writers were going for, it has an uncomfortable layer of privilege to it. For example, we can only relate to the problems of foreigners through our own lens and perspective. If these people only knew it was Christmas, they might have a better life.

Aside from all that, can we talk about that video for a minute??? You don’t need me to tell you that there was a copious amount of drug use during that recording/shoot. The hair, the clothing. If we needed to preserve 1984 in a time capsule, just throw this video in there and call it a day. This also popularized the whole “video from the recording studio” thing that happened in music videos throughout the 80s and 90s. Note the double hands cupping the headphones move. Note the single hand on the headphones move. There’s also the one headphone on, one headphone off move. There are random people playing instruments that aren’t in the song at all. And during the group sing at the end, most of the well-established stars have a slight look of embarrassment on their faces.

It’s a classic.

The last song I want to get into has been called into question in recent years. And while I think people are well-meaning in their criticisms (and perfectly free to make them of course) they often leave out the context needed to understand what’s really happening in the song. I am talking about “Baby, it’s Cold Outside”.

I like the Dean Martin version, mostly because he’s got such a great way of singing with emotion but making it seem effortless and casual. I’d stick around for another smoke with this guy. I also like that he’s singing with a chorus of women and not just one. It makes it feel a little less creepy.

Context is so important to understand art. I had an English professor who felt that every art class should be taught in conjunction with a history class from the period that is being studied. Art isn’t made in a bubble. It isn’t created with forethought of what might happen. That’s impossible. Art is generally a reflection of the times in which it is made. It was written by Frank Loesser in 1944 and featured in the 1949 film Neptune's Daughter. (Don’t watch that movie. It’s bad and is chock full of problematic things, including Red Skelton aping a Latino accent so he could bed women). It actually won an Academy Award (the song, not the movie) in 1949.

Back in the day, people didn’t have a lot of stuff. Most people in the ’40s didn’t have TVs and probably half had radios. But they had their own voices and instruments. It was common during parties for the hosts to either lead their guests in song or perform them on their own. So that’s why Fred wrote the song — for him and his wife to perform at parties.

Now, I agree, it doesn’t look great that the two people duetting are referred to as “The Wolf” and “The Mouse” in the score. But I think that has more to do with the idea of roleplaying pursuit than consumption. If you apply modern romantic situations and expectations to the song, then yes, it is very uncomfortable in a vacuum. But that’s after decades of feminism and cultural revolutions. In 1945 a woman was expected to come home from dates and to be chaste. People weren’t just going around hooking up. There was no Tinder or Grindr. So if a woman wanted to sleep with a man, there had to be a societal justification, of sorts.

It’s a cute song that can be a lovely thing when performed between two people. It’s funny. And by the way, in the film that introduced America to the song, it’s first sung by a man as the Wolf and a female as the Mouse but later the roles are reversed. Both work.

It’s good we’re having conversations about consent and date rape. It is important to talk about those things because those are things happening now. To judge a 75-year-old song by today’s standards without any context is silly and misses the point. When both parts are played by two consenting people, which seems to be the case from the lyrics, it’s a cute back-and-forth between lovers.

Recently, John Legend and Kelly Clarkson did a tongue-in-cheek remake of the song, pumped full of “wokeness” and good humor. It bothered some people but I don’t mind it. I think it’s clear that they’re having fun with the piece, which, again, is the point of it in the first place. It’s never bad to question things and try to understand how cultural things have changed. And hey, if it bothers you, then by all means leave it off your playlist. I ain’t here to dictate nothing. Christmas is about joy and hope and peace. Whatever that means for you, have at it!

Did I miss any? Let me know in the comments!